my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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