You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
