the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
