Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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