I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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