Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
