: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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