we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
