Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
