im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
