Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
