so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
