Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
