saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
