listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
