This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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