Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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