Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
