suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
