She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Shame - the story of my life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
