Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
