I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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