we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
