I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
