Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
