I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
