she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
