Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
