very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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