I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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