We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
