I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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