If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
