my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
