I will die if light touches me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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