Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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