She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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