Got a toothbrush?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
