i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
