i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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