I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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