is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
