He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
