This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
