so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
