can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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