I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dignity is for republicans.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
