we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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