my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
