just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
