yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
