Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
