dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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