You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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