Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
