so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
